
Why is my mind like some hungry Minotaur ploughing fitfully through the underground mazes of lost conscious thoughts that may somehow have survived the ages and now lie quietly waiting to be gobbled up and consumed in entirety.
What is this yearning that makes me feel empty and undernourished in my mind, so I get feelings of unworthiness if in some way I am not making an effort to improve how my brain is functioning? Why do I have such a blatant passion for dictionaries that I cannot go without having them near me, like a comforting blanket that seals in my sanity. I love their scent, their feel and most of all their contents and all that they hand over to me with each page that is turned.
I love looking for new words and reading and thinking about their meaning and as each one becomes clear to me so it becomes like a new friend, someone to hold close and to allow through my window and into the portals of my mind. A friend that for a while I do not want to share with anyone else, lest they should spoil this new relationship, poison my mind and forever break this bond that I have formed.
It is with words, spoken, read or sung, that I am able to loose consciousness of all physical feelings and so become one with words, one with the moment, and yet knowing that this moment is with me for eternity. Once found I cannot loose a word, or it's meaning, for they are kept safe in the archives of my mental beingness, they are one with me.
Should I have the desire to share "my" words with others the sharing is of that moment, but the words will always be mine. Admittedly we are all able to use any words that we want to, yet how each of us uses those words makes each word very different, by thought, pen or utterance we make words our own.
I hope that as time takes it's toll on the physical and the bells of old age grow louder that my mental faculties will stay tuned and the window ever open to allow new words to flutter in and rest peacefully in the corridors of my mind.
