Window into my mind

Is my mind in a permanent state of poverty consciousness that it feels the need to hoard forever by drinking and eating (metaphorically) anything, that in any way, might be of interest or value in my future. Is this one enormous ego that feels it can and will hold onto any snippet of information, any new words or thoughts that may blow in through the window at any given time.


Why is my mind like some hungry Minotaur ploughing fitfully through the underground mazes of lost conscious thoughts that may somehow have survived the ages and now lie quietly waiting to be gobbled up and consumed in entirety.
What is this yearning that makes me feel empty and undernourished in my mind, so I get feelings of unworthiness if in some way I am not making an effort to improve how my brain is functioning? Why do I have such a blatant passion for dictionaries that I cannot go without having them near me, like a comforting blanket that seals in my sanity. I love their scent, their feel and most of all their contents and all that they hand over to me with each page that is turned.
I love looking for new words and reading and thinking about their meaning and as each one becomes clear to me so it becomes like a new friend, someone to hold close and to allow through my window and into the portals of my mind. A friend that for a while I do not want to share with anyone else, lest they should spoil this new relationship, poison my mind and forever break this bond that I have formed.
It is with words, spoken, read or sung, that I am able to loose consciousness of all physical feelings and so become one with words, one with the moment, and yet knowing that this moment is with me for eternity. Once found I cannot loose a word, or it's meaning, for they are kept safe in the archives of my mental beingness, they are one with me.
Should I have the desire to share "my" words with others the sharing is of that moment, but the words will always be mine. Admittedly we are all able to use any words that we want to, yet how each of us uses those words makes each word very different, by thought, pen or utterance we make words our own.
I hope that as time takes it's toll on the physical and the bells of old age grow louder that my mental faculties will stay tuned and the window ever open to allow new words to flutter in and rest peacefully in the corridors of my mind.

At the front door

It's Saturday, it's hotter than hell and here I sit early morning blues already entering my soul. Nothing coffee and more coffee won't fix. Why is it when I wake in the mornings there is such a heavy feeling of lack? Is my coffee addiction so bad? Personally I think not, but then does the befuddled mind even try to comprehend what exactly the old and abused body tries to tell it through massive amounts of over indulgences?
Why must one go so overboard with things? Is not one taste enough? Do we have to watch the same old movie so many times? Here "Lawrence of Arabia" comes to mind. Yes, I do admit that I have 4 versions of it, so am I really watching the same movie all the time, certainly not, how could I possibly compare the 3 hour movie to the 5 hour one. It depends on time available and nothing else. Then when movement around the house prevents me from chair sitting to watch I can always play the soundtrack and yes, I do know exactly which scene goes with which piece of music. Is this some sort of mind fetish or do I have my own little cult where I am the only member - the Be all and end all of it?
That in my early morning round about way brings me to the front door and what and who should I let in today? Do I even want company other than man, dog and cat? By the way and to divert for a minute, what is the politically correct way to refer to one's husband/wife at the moment? Please someone out there let me know and then keep me posted. Thanks in advance.
On sipping on the 4th mug of coffee I think that for today I will only let in the wind, and fresh thoughts in the hope that both will help to clear the fog that I like to think of as my brain.
Good wayfarers all, enjoy what comes your way today and keep your minds open if only perhaps to tune into my way of thinking or perhaps better not!